Sunday, December 11, 2011

Musings on Friendships

Dear future potentially married self,

I'm not trying to make any assumptions here, but there is a chance that you'll be married in the future.  And this IS something that your current single self wants (in the future).  That being said, please remember that you have freaking awesome friends that you have made as a single person.  And please don't ditch them when you get married.  I know that when people get married they sometimes say, 'I didn't know what love was until I got married', etc etc, or stop spending time with their friends because all they want to do is look googly eyed at their true love. There might be a separate letter to you asking you to please not do that too much in public. But I digress.
Don't forget your friends.  They are seriously awesome.  They have laughed with you, cried with you, carried you through hell and back, worked with you, played with you, tried to change the world with you.  These are the people that you can build silly gingerbread houses with and form the group that bursts out laughing in the middle of studying scripture.  You've said you can call me at 2am and they did, and then they returned the favor.  These are the people you sat in the hallway of your apartment and talked for hours on end with.  These are the people that supported your decision to go sledding in a shopping cart, and to do hurricane relief work after Katrina.  The ones that know the crazy stories from your childhood, and college, and grad school, and are also good friends with your mom.  The ones that challenge your beliefs and make you grow as a person.  They are your co-workers, roommates, mentors, and the people of all ages that fill your life.  These are people your current single self hopes you will spend the rest of your life knowing, and growing with, and spending time with and keeping in touch with.
So if you fall in love and get married, don't say you didn't know what love is until that point.  Because that's really not true.  Romantic love is different, and so please remember to throw that adjective in there.  Because agape and philos love, the love of God and friends, you've know your whole life, in ways that many people never even glimpse.   Hang on to that.  It's just as if not more important than a spouse.
You've got the best friends on the planet and then some.  Don't throw them under the bus for a boy.

(Single) Me