PCV life scattered on my table

As I’m preparing for my last few classes and activities with my students and teachers, I’m chuckling at the contents strewn across the desk (okay, large table) in my house.

• Colorful lists of emotionally healthy and emotionally unhealthy behaviors
• Boggle and Bananagrams (for the English club that never really materialized)
• Toilet paper
• Hand drawn diagrams of the male and female reproductive systems
• Corresponding labels for above diagrams
• Several books of lifeskills lesson plans
• Hand sanitizer
• A hand made dice that has potential consequences of alcohol abuse (car accident, injury, late for work, etc.)
• Name-tags for a mini camp
• A fly swatter (bc holy moly the bugs lately!)
• A stack of index card sized papers with sticky tack on the back that say things like doctor, nurse, weak, strong, etc, for a lesson on gender
• Various pencils and markers
• A hella lotta sunscreen
• Condoms (male AND female) and a wooden penis
• A loose ball of various colors of embroidery floss for bracelet making
• Scissors, a pocket knife, and string (for making those name-tags)
• Duct tape
• In Her Shoes, an activity to talk about Gender Based Violence
• Chalk
• My external hard drive
• Tennis balls that I need to label for a game  
• Peanut butter and a spoon (cuz ya know, dinner)
• A clean sock, bc I’m debating making a puppet
• A water bottle
• A screwdriver (my light switch plate decided to jump off the wall earlier for no reason)
• Gin

You know you’re a PCV when… 

How to plan a GLOW camp

January: Think that you should plan a GLOW camp for the next school break. 

Realize that is in May or August. 

Start scratching out a grant proposal.

January and February: Meet with other PCVs a few times to knock out details.

February: Attempt to apply for grant. Have website issues. Repeat approximately 18 times in 2 months. Spend so much time at your friend's office using her computer that you are sort of her roommate for a month, between the grant and the flooded road to your village.

March: Keep meeting with PCVs. 

Give up on grant website and just email documents to PC staff members.

April: Hold counterpart training for teachers that will be coming to camp. 

Go on vacation. Be informed that you HAVE to submit through the broken website. Curse. 

Return from vacation. Finally get grant submitted. Woo! Get feedback, resubmit.

May, week 1: Find out you are approved but you won't get the money in time for your planned camp date. Bump camp back 2 weeks. Call ALL of the people to make sure this still works.

May, week 2: Wait for funds to magically appear in your account. Double check ALL the logistics.

May, week 3: Buy food for 80 people for 5 days. 

Avert small panic attack in grocery store in the process of your shopping spree. 

Cram all of this food into 2 small hondas for transport.

Have several PCVs carry the remaining supplies on combis. Read: 10 loaves of bread and various other things, EACH.

Have the people that promised you transport try to back out. Spend the weekend trying to figure out alternatives of transporting 60 people from 10 village in a 6 hour period.

Week 4: Bully your way into getting the original transportation.

Have a GLOW camp!

If we can barely pick this up, carrying it to the bus stop will be fun.

Raquel's like, DANG that's a lot of bread.

Butternut squash or cookies anyone?

Oh, and each girl got a hygiene kit, so we had to make and move those too.

Finishing the pre-camp logistics!

Hygiene kit: A bar of soap, 5 pads, comb, Vaseline, toothbrush, toothpaste, washcloth, bar of laundry soap, and deodorant, in a reusable bag.

Under the Surface: Part 2

In part 1 I talked about how the treatment of children in this country is a huge problem, and really goes against the national principle of Botho on which Tswana society and Botswana is based on. I don’t think theres something inherently wrong with Batswana,  I think this is due to a severe lack of mental health awareness and services. To clarify, when I say mental health, I mean things like stress reduction and coping techniques, support systems, and counseling, as well as psychiatric services and medication.

I feel like people in this country are traumatized. Not everyone, but many, especially in rural areas. They are traumatized by lack of family support systems, systematic and cyclical physical and sexual abuse, and profound loss. There is no mental health system or even awareness of mental/emotional  health needs. Children are taught to bottle up their emotions from a young age, so people don’t deal with their feelings. I feel like what Peace Corps should be sending here above all else are mental health professionals and counselors. My working assumption is that at least half the people I interact with probably have some level of post-traumatic stress disorder from losing loved ones and/or abuse, and then having no way to work through such trauma.

I don’t think it was always like this. I’ve read and heard stories about Botswana from 50-60 years ago, and it seemed like there was more of a village culture and intact families and support systems, even though there was much more overall poverty and less development. But development changed some of that, as well as the AIDS epidemic. Half a generation was wiped out. Family structures got messed up badly. Grandparents and young teenagers were raising kids. Since ARVs have become available, the death rate from HIV has plummeted. But in some ways, the damage has been done. There is a generation traumatized from so much loss, and they are now raising children. But they haven’t really dealt with their own trauma, so it’s hard to be a good parent, let alone raise emotionally healthy kids. Lots of kids suffer from neglect, especially in the rural areas. Marriage rates are very low due to the high cost of getting married, so almost every woman I know has one or more children before getting married, if she gets married. The kids often have different fathers. This considerably messes with the traditional family structure and support system. Kids no longer have aunts and uncles helping initiate them into adulthood and explaining sexuality to them, so in most cases no one has these conversations with them. This contributes to high HIV infection and teen pregnancy rates, and the cycle continues.

I don’t want people to think I’m bashing Tswana culture, because I’m not trying to. I understand that it’s different than American culture. And I’m certainly not trying to compare it to American culture and suggest that America has everything right- I could write (and there are written) books about the societal problems in America.  In Tswana culture, men often had multiple wives, something the government is trying to discourage now. Extended family plays a big part in raising kids, and that’s been disrupted by both HIV and development with people moving around. Traditionally it seems people weren’t supposed to be overly emotional in public, but there were places they could show emotion, such as at church and funerals. They had a support network of their village and their extended family. The point is… the way this culture was, seemed to work pretty well for them. But things have changed and it’s not working well anymore.

One symptom of this I see in children and adults is emotional numbness. When you are taught to bottle up your emotions and not feel, or when so much trauma happens you don’ know how to deal with it, you start acting impassively when emotional things happen. It makes it hard to have an emotional connection in relationships. But it’s a coping mechanism to deal with further trauma. I see this when teachers at my school mention someone died, with no emotion in their voice at all. And then move onto a new topic 30 seconds later.

There aren’t easy solutions to any of this, and to suggest there are is to minimize the pain that these people have been through and are still going through.  But I really believe that the first step is talking about it. Talking about how children are treated in this country, and mental health in general. The countries that have made the most progress in their fight against HIV are the ones that acknowledged the problem existed and prepared to address it, not the ones that pretended it didn’t exist.  I think the same thing applies here.

As this relates to me, this ugly stuff under the surface is part of why it’s such an emotional roller coaster to live here. People (and Peace Corps) tell us we are so lucky to be in Botswana, they are so good at development and look at all the progress they’ve made! And that is true, and also not the whole truth. In one day I’ll teach 2 classes where kids stare and me and won’t talk, see starving dogs roam the village, watch a student get caned for some infraction, see kids having a ball playing soccer, talk with a friend about America, listen as people talk with no emotion in their voices about boys beating girls for sex, and marvel that my rural village has 2 schools, a clinic, running water, and electricity. It’s up and down, good and bad, all the time.

I want to do my part in raising awareness about the treatment of children and mental/emotional health, which is why I decided to post this. It may seem weird to combine the two, but I firmly believe that unmet mental health needs are contributing to the maltreatment of children here. These are not bad people. These are a peaceful, respectful people. These are my friends.  Hurt people hurt people.

I hope I haven’t insulted anyone by writing this, especially if they are a Motswana. But the part of the ambassador’s letter that got to me the most was the end, where she wrote “As for me, Botswana and its young people are now in my heart for good. For the rest of my life, I will be cheering you on.”

Me, too.

Under the Surface: Part 1

(I broke my original response to the ambassador’s piece into 2 parts)

I guess I should explain a bit why I posted the ambassador’s piece like I did. When I first read it… I honestly cried. On and off for about an hour, as I read and reread it in my living room. Because someone other than a Peace Corps Volunteer gets it. Or rather, publicly acknowledges it. Not everything is okay in this country. Not everything about Botswana is the success story of Africa. And it goes beyond poverty, and education, and the HIV epidemic.

And the ways in which it’s broken are under the surface. Because on the surface, Botswana IS the success story of Africa. It’s done wonderful things with its diamond money like building roads, schools, and hospitals. It’s trying to invest in social programs and also diversify its economy. It’s a peaceful people that work hard at avoiding corruption. All of this is true, and very good. But there is more to be done. When I see articles and discussions about Botswana’s future, they focus on diversifying the economy and fighting the AIDS epidemic. Those are very important and challenging tasks, and should be given a lot of time and energy. But what I see at the grassroots level is what the ambassador wrote about. The children in this country are neglected, frightened, and abused. This doesn’t really seem to get any press, yet I feel like this is by far the biggest problem to be addressed.

I’ve ranted about the ministry of education before. The ministry fails to provide adequate teachers, books, food, and basic supervision to children at school, and then blames the kids for failing.  The conditions of the boarding schools are appalling- people would be arrested in the US for keeping prisoners in these conditions.  There is rampant sexual abuse of students by teachers. Corporeal punishment is legal, and while politicians debate whether students should be caned, there are teachers and school officials literally beating the crap out of kids for things such as not having the proper uniform, which isn’t the kids fault.

Sometimes conditions are home aren’t much better, and they are harder to monitor. But I have a copy of that behavioral survey the ambassador referenced, and I’ve seen first-hand the abuse, depression, and neglect that it measured. But what gets me the most is the fear. When I teach, it’s almost like pulling teeth to get kids to talk. Teachers walk around with a stick to get kids into classrooms. That’s also how they herd goats and cattle in this country. Is it telling that animals and kids are often treated the same way? Beat them into submission? When I make eye contact with students they look away and blush or giggle, especially the girls. They have the same response to the rest of the teachers. I understand that part of Tswana culture is a deep respect for elders, and in some ways, I wish I could export some of that to America. But there is a fine line between respect and actual fear, and I see it crossed daily. Because children are scared into behaving, adults can tell them to do anything and they will. Or do anything to them and they will take it. This leads to the abuse and neglect.

Healthy Batswana children won’t look exactly like healthy American children, and some of what bothers me may indeed be cultural. But the parts that are human rights violations transcend culture and are mostly not a traditional part of this culture. I think the underlying reasons for a lot of the mistreatment of children in this country stem from unmet emotional/mental health needs, and I’ll go into that in part 2.

Please read this

Sometimes I struggle with describing what I see in Botswana, and in my village, without sounding negative, condescending, and judgmental. So too often I skip it and post pictures of goats. But a few days ago the American ambassador to Botswana, Michelle Gavin, wrote an op-ed for the Patriot, and she described Botswana, Batswana, my Peace Corps experience, and all of the conflicting emotions I've felt, and she did it much better than I ever could. It's a bit long, but please read it. (Paragraph breaks are mine.)

An Op-ed by Ambassador Gavin published in the Patriot on Sunday: Botswana’s Greatest Resource

Botswana is a magical place. Its people are warm, friendly and engaging. Its countryside is among the most beautiful in the world. And since independence, its leaders have used not just diamond wealth, but also integrity and a commitment to investing in people to build and sustain Africa’s most successful and prosperous democracy. 

For over two and a half years, I have been privileged to serve as the United States Ambassador to one of the world’s great success stories. My tenure in Botswana has reinforced my belief that this country’s potential is vast. With the right decisions and the hard work of its citizens, Botswana can continue to prosper in an increasingly globalized economy; its democracy can continue to mature: its institutions can continue to set and meet the highest standards for integrity and efficacy. I also believe that Botswana can continue to be a force for good in the world far more influential than the size of its population would suggest. 

For all of these reasons, I have devoted much of my tenure here to engaging with Botswana’s youth. Youth make up the largest segment of Botswana’s population. They represent Botswana’s potential. They are Botswana’s future. As President Obama’s representative in Botswana, one of my jobs is to translate his commitment to youth around the world and into concrete support for Botswana’s young people. My government has done, and will continue to do, a great deal. From the Peace Corp Volunteers assigned to scores of towns and villages throughout Botswana working with young people on life skills to the exchange programs that have sent Batswana youth to the United States, we are engaging with young people in Botswana and working to support them every day. My embassy has set up a Youth Advisory Council to discuss issues impacting youth. We will send 25 talented, young Batswana to the United States to participate in President Obama’s Young African Leaders Initiative. We have worked with the Government of Botswana to gather more data on the challenges young people confront. We support young entrepreneurs, and we have devoted millions of dollars to helping Botswana’s orphans and vulnerable children. 

Last week I had the privilege of interacting with hundreds of youth throughout southern Botswana, in locales as diverse as Moshupa, Mabutsane, and Sekoma, on a “Youth Listening Tour.” I heard firsthand from groups of 15-24-year-olds about their personal dreams, their aspirations for Botswana, and the challenges they face. These conversations were similar to the many other discussions I have had with Botswana’s young people over the last 30 months. In all of the exchanges, I have found that in many ways Botswana youth are like their peers everywhere in the world. They want to participate in society at a local and a global level; they want the exposure that comes with travel or attending school overseas; they want to make a difference in their communities; they want to find meaningful jobs in the private sector that allow them to save for the future and start families. 

But in addition to revealing these laudable, even inspiring, aspirations, many of my conversations with young people around this country -- and with their passionate Batswana advocates in the health, education, and social work communities -- have exposed deeply troubling problems. Girls – often very young girls – talk about relentless sexual pressure from adult men in their lives. Youth describe feelings of isolation and worthlessness; far too many feel that no adult in their lives will listen to them or take them seriously. Regardless of gender, young people often describe a violent, even hostile environment at home and at school that seems completely at odds with the peaceful, gentle culture that celebrates botho and values the contribution of each individual. 

The often painful anecdotes of young Batswana are backed up by data. Adolescent girls continue to be infected with HIV at far higher rates than their male counterparts. Stubbornly high malnutrition rates among children (13.5% of Batswana children under five are underweight; 26% are stunted) persist despite Botswana’s robust social safety nets, and those closest to the issue acknowledge that neglect is a very real part of the problem. Results from the Botswana Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey of schoolchildren, funded by the U.S. Government and conducted in partnership with the Ministry of Education and Skills Development, indicated that violence is a very common presence in the lives of young people. Over one-quarter of respondents had been involved in a physical fight in the previous year that required them to seek medical treatment. 13% of sexually active students identified rape as their first sexual encounter. 

Of course, these indicators point to the need for broad social mobilization to give parents and caregivers the knowledge, skills, and support they need to ensure children are not left behind. Botswana’s schools can also play a critical role in beginning to turn some of these numbers around, but today, too often, they are part of the problem. I have heard this directly from the young people with whom I have spoken. I have also heard tales of sexual and physical abuse perpetrated by teachers and school administrators from civil society and traditional leaders. In some cases, the perpetrators were never charged and remain in their classrooms to this day. Many countries, including my own, have established and implemented policies designed to prevent violence in schools. These policies include universal school-based violence prevention education for students. They also include education for parents in order to improve parent-child communication about sensitive issues including sexual health; annual training for all school personnel; a code of conduct for all school personnel; and lastly, standard operating procedures to respond to breaches of conduct by school personnel. 

I hope the Government of Botswana will make similar policies a priority, and hold teachers and school administrators accountable for implementing them. Botswana’s schools must also provide their students with the knowledge and tools necessary to live healthy lives, and to set and achieve life goals if they are to contribute to the country’s future success. Botswana’s Life Skills program, which the United States Peace Corps supports, is designed to accomplish this, promoting positive identity and self-esteem, positive communication, decision-making and critical thinking skills, goal setting, and emotional health. But Botswana can do more to make Life Skills work for its young people, by implementing Life Skills as a standalone, testable curriculum rather than trying to infuse it into all subject areas – which too often makes Life Skills an afterthought. 

It is telling that the late Nelson Mandela devoted a great deal of his post-presidency passion and energy to children’s issues. His singular wisdom, experience, and vision led him to conclude that “there is no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” Children, he said “should be seen and heard as our most treasured assets. They are not ours to be used or abused but to be loved and nurtured and encouraged to engage in life to the full extent of their being, free from fear.” The truth is that too many children in Botswana are living in fear. Too many are neglected. Too many are exposed to violence or exploitation at home or at school. This issue, perhaps more than any other -- more than the scourge of HIV/AIDS, more than the difficulty of economic diversification -- imperils the future of this great country. It is entirely within Botswana’s capacity to address this threat. Doing so will require a sense of urgency; concrete, fully implemented policy initiatives; and energized partnerships among parents and caregivers, teachers and school administrators, police and social workers. The United States will be a reliable ally in these efforts. 

As for me, Botswana and its young people are now in my heart for good. For the rest of my life, I will be cheering you on.

Madiba

Being in southern Africa is a unique experience in itself. Adding to that currently being  in Gabs 20km from the South African border,  for the passing of Nelson Mandela, and it’s witnessing history.

I want to refer to him as Madiba. I realize that most of the world knows him as Nelson Mandela, but Nelson was the English name he was given in school. My Setswana name in Botswana is Lesego (Leh-say-ho), but my real given name is Mary. So I want to refer to him as Madiba, his tribal name.

I don’t remember when in my life I learned who Madiba was. I certainly was not aware of historical events going on in South Africa during my childhood- his release from prison, rioting, the end of apartheid, his election, the Nobel Peace prize. To say that he is a national and international hero, especially here in southern Africa, is an understatement. He’s an important world figure in the US. In southern Africa, he’s one of the most important people ever to live.

I feel like I don’t know as much as I should about him. I went to Cape Town last summer with my mom and Carol, and we visited the Slave museum which had exhibits on Apartheid and the South African struggle for peace and shared power. We visited an exhibit at the town hall commemorating him for his 95^th birthday which he recently had. We attempted to visit Robbin Island, but the weather was bad so the ferry was canceled. I’m currently reading Long Walk to Freedom, and I saw the movie based on it a week ago, just after he passed.

What’s interested to me is that people seem to revere the Madiba of the last 20 years, and forget parts of his life from before he went to prison. He cheated on his first wife (and might have been abusive- the movie portrayed him that way). He spearheaded the arm of the African National Congress that moved away from strictly non-violence into trying to undermine the white government by setting fire to buildings and causing damage. He and the ANC were labeled a terrorist/terrorist organization for a long time. He was a radical.

From what I know, the work that he did in his life was invaluable to South Africa in their struggle for equality and a government of shared power.  And he is known for so much of the work that he did after spending 27 years in prison. But what really stands out to me, is that he came out of prison a different person than the one that went in. He changed. He grew. He forgave people of crimes against him, his family, his friends, his people, that I can only imagine. And he realized that forgiveness was the only way.

The amount of world leaders that descended on South Africa for his funeral is tribute to the man he was, and the man he became. Some people are worried that without Mandela that South Africa is going to have renewed racial violence. The tension is still there. I hope with all of my heart that is not the case, because that is the complete opposite of what Madiba wanted. Like I said, it’s an interesting time to be only kilometers from South Africa.

Watching the movie last week, I was also struck by the amount of change that has occurred in South Africa in my lifetime. I’m only 30 years old. That gives me hope that maybe by the time I am 50 or 60, some of the other countries in Africa that are such a mess now, will have radically changed by then. As I read the headline that Mandela passed away on Friday, (Thursday night, but it was late here so I heard about it Friday morning), there was a smaller headline warning that Central African Republic could be headed for a genocide and that UN troops might be moving in.  The work is never finished.

I’m also struck by how amazing it is to live in an African country that managed to avoid such a bloody struggle for independence and equality. There are plenty of things about Botswana that drive me crazy, I’m not saying we’re perfect here. But the contrast of what Botswana is and went through and what South Africa is and went through is stark. A lot of that is that the countries started with different resources, histories, and racial tensions. But I don’t take for granted the history of peace in this country.

The ironic thing about being where I am, in the Peace Corps in Botswana, is that I’m geographically close (relatively speaking) to what is going on in South Africa, but I live in the bush so I don’t have access to a lot of media coverage of it. I can get headlines and a few news stories, and when I’m in the capital for a day or to I can see some TV.

From what I’ve seen, the services for Madiba seem peaceful, reverent, and well attended. Yes, there is always going to be crazy things to detract from the real purpose, like the sign language scandal. But it’s neat to see the world mourn and remember such a great man, and coming together in the process to do so.

Peace is what you worked for your whole life Madiba. Rest now knowing you accomplished so much for so many, and left us a shining example of how to go forward with your work.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than it’s opposite. “ ~ Nelson Mandela

Botho Festival

Some volunteers in Gabs (there are a bunch of volunteers that extended for a third year that live in Gabs) organized an art and craft festival with the theme of Botho. Botho is Botswana's national value of respect; I think it translates to 'I am because we are'.

So there were artists selling their crafts, lots of kids activities, and different things to raise awareness and celebrate Botho.

I helped by teaching kids (and some adults) to make friendship bracelets. 

Singing and dancing for the kids. 

My friend Kagiso from my village came to teach bracelet making too. I taught her all the patterns I know and she's already made up several of her own, trying to start a small business.

I managed to take the cutest picture on the planet.

Making bracelets.

Playing games led by Nina.

A cool art sculpture of a Baibab tree made from used ARV (anti-retro virals, HIV medicine) bottles. 

It was a fun day and gave me an excuse to stay in Gabs an extra day after IST :)

Gender Camp!

So I had the idea to do a two-day day camp at my school way back in August, when we were planning out the school term. The form 3 students take their end of school exams in October and are done and gone by the first week of November.  The form 1 and 2 students take their end of the year exams in November and then have about a week where they have to be at school but they really do nothing, because the teachers are busy grading. So, I thought I could use some of that time to sort of blitz them with information through a camp, and not have to worry about food/sleeping arrangements/transport/bathing this time around.

Me and one of my volleyball girls.

The camp wound up being for Form 2s (all 240ish of them), and we did sessions on gender, gender based violence, gender and power, reproductive health, healthy relationships, and contraception.  It was also during the 16 days of activism against gender based violence, so we gave the kids an opportunity to sign a pledge against GBV and gave out white ribbons. I had 6 other volunteers helping me, so we each had a session. I only did my gender and power game with about half of the kids, but that's okay. All of the other sessions were done for all of the classes, and I consider that a huge success.

The frustrating part was that my school and guidance and counseling committee was supportive of me as I planned the camp, but then gave me no support DURING the camp. I didn't mind planning it and having other volunteers come and facilitate sessions, but I wanted teachers in the classrooms for translation, cultural sensitivity, and crowd control. And that didn't happen at all- we did the entire thing ourselves as PCVs. Which, was super super frustrating  and I really wanted to just walk out the first day because things were so badly planned/not planned at all on the school's part. But, then I saw my friends playing games with like 80 kids and the kids were having a ball, so we decided to just do it ourselves. 

Visuals of AIDS, HIV, female condoms, and assertiveness.

We split the kids into single gender groups, and about half of the boys wandered off halfway through each day because we only had 2 teachers helping us keep order. So we had full classes of girls and half classes of boys. But, it was better than nothing, a lot of kids learned stuff and had fun, and it was the best we could do under the circumstances. They learned about different types of gender based violence, they each got to practice putting a condom on a model, and they learned the difference between gender and sex.

Condom demonstration!

We also had a lot of fun with 6 of us squished in my house, cooking all of the things, including Mexican food and a giant banana scone.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do, banana scone!

Super delicious and fun

Hanging out in my house

The biggest thing was I feel like this helped break the ice between me and a lot of these kids. So I hope that I can teach more effectively next year. 

The banner says "Gender and Wellness Day Camp"

All in all, a successful camp. Frustrating at times, but the kids got a lot out of it, and that's really all that matters. Also, my fellow PCVs are amazing people who slept on my floor, interacted with my kids, and put up with the crazy from my school. I love my government issued family :D

  

We try to look normal...

but this is far more accurate ;)

Mid-Service Musings

I've been reminded that it's been almost 2 months since I posted. Oops? As they say here, sooooorry.

Several milestones have passed since I last updated. September 11th marked one year since I left home. September 13th marked one year in Botswana. October 14th (ish) is my official halfway point through my time here, and in a few days, I'll have one year left in Country (November 14th, 2014 is my last day as a volunteer).

Generally, volunteers have a slump around the one-year mark. I've sort of been going in and out of a slump the last month or so, but nothing like June. I think mostly I've been happy, as in, I've made it this far! I've made it more than halfway! Woo! I can also look back on the past year and sometimes that's helpful. While I really don't feel like I've done much, when you total it up, it's not nothing.

- 2 GLOW camps

- 2 Teacher workshops

- Teaching some Form 2 and 3 classes

- Making friends with teachers at school

- Attempting clubs, and having an end of the year party for my PACT club this past week

- Working with a young woman in my village trying to help her start a small business

- Helping at a health fair in another volunteer's village

- Helped count out a lot of pills at my clinic

I've also got a lot planned for the rest of this year and next year:

- More teaching

- Compiling lesson plans to make curriculum more easily accessible for teachers and volunteers

- Coaching volleyball again

- More camps

- More workshops

- Trying a different approach to a club

- Working on some gender-based-violence (GBV) initiatives

- Possibly a safe male circumcision campaign in my village

- Collaborating with other volunteers whenever possible

I've also just been able to do a lot of cool things personally this year:

- I've learned some Setswana

- I've learned how to cook more things

- I've read 91 books (and am in the middle of another 3)

- I've watched a bunch of movies and TV

- I've done a fair amount of writing- blogging, fiction, and nonfiction

- I've traveled to 4 African countries- Botswana, Zambia, Zimbabwe and South Africa

- I've traveled lots of different places within Botswana, including the Okavango Delta and Tsodilo Hills

- I've seen a lion, a leopard, giraffes, elephants, impala, hippos, crocodiles, amazing birds, buffalo, and tons of other things in the wild

- I've made new friends

- I've learned a lot about development and behavior change

- I've learned a lot about myself

In the next 12-14 months, I'm planning on more writing, reading, traveling in and out of Bots, backpacking after my service is over, and whatever else I can fit in. 

Most of all, thank you to my friends and family back home. Without your love, support, e-mails, phone calls, letters, packages, prayers and visits, there's no way I would have made it this far. <3 div="">

So... what exactly IS lifeskills???

I feel like my cohort and I were asking ourselves and everyone around us this question all during our pre-service training. It was only at our in-service training that we got the formal answer of, training teachers on how to use some specific guidance and counseling curriculum- both in guidance and counseling classes and infusing the topics into other subjects. This was a bit weird to start with since it was so specific- most people come into Peace Corps thinking it’s all about figuring out what your community wants to do, not being an extension of a government ministry/outside agency. It was also weird because it took us so long to figure it out.

In reality though, lifeskills volunteers do a lot more than curriculum workshops. So here is my description of my job in a nutshell, mostly for future volunteers, but also for my friends and family back home.

What the assignment of ‘lifeskills liaison volunteer’ basically means is that you will be based at a school, and assigned a counterpart (cp) from that school, most likely someone involved in the guidance and counseling committee/department, often the senior guidance and counseling teacher. This is often a little bit of a crapshoot whether the person a) knows what you are here for, aka you are not another teacher, b) cares about lifeskills and guidance and counseling, and C) has time to work with you. You are by no means limited to working with this one person!! My cp is great and I’ve done a lot with her. Other people have found other teachers and people in the community to work with if their assigned cp didn't work out too well. Actually, I recommend working with multiple people anyway, because then if someone gets sick/ moves/ is busy, you aren't stuck. (Problem I’ve had this term because my cp has been out sick.)

The "liaison" part is sort of weird... at first I thought it was between the school and the community, but I think it’s meant to be between the school and ministry of education(MOE)/EDC. (EDC is an organization that with the US CDC developed the afore mentioned life skills curriculum). Most of us try to avoid everything having to do with MOE other than this curriculum, which is good curriculum.

In summary, being assigned a specific thing to do is weird, and most of us try it if we can, and ignore it if it doesn't work.

So what do we actually do? That really ranges from volunteer to volunteer. I've been at my site for a little over 7 months. I am currently trying to get/keep some clubs going- PACT (peer approach to counseling teens, aka lifeskills using peer education) club at my school and the primary school in my village (I'm at the equivalent of a middle school), and an English club. This is one of the most frustrating things I've ever done, because the schedule seems to change every 5 seconds and clubs are often cancelled or moved. But I'm learning to show up, run a club if I can, and not stress if I can't. 2/3 of my clubs I have counterparts for, and one I'm running on my own. PC -really- wants us to have counterparts, for sustainability and capacity building and honestly, things just work better when you work with locals who know how everything works. It's often tricky to find people willing to work with you, especially in the beginning. We all try to work with people, and from time to time we try doing things on our own as well. Back to things I've done: I've presented/facilitated three workshops for teachers and one all school assembly. I've also had a workshop cancelled on me twice- back to the crazy scheduling thing. I've talked to students in guidance and counseling classes, having them write questions anonymously and I'll answer them to the whole class later. I’m probably going to actually teach some guidance and counseling classes next term. I helped coach volleyball and facilitated getting a few kids at my school interviewed for a website project. I get a crowd of kids on my porch often, wanting to color/hula hoop/ play soccer. I may try to make this into an informal club.  

In the future at school I'd love to regularly have clubs, possibly tutor math/science, do more workshops/assemblies, and maybe a typing class- for students and/or teachers. Lifeskills is really broad- it covers HIV/AIDS, sexuality and safe sex, teen pregnancy, communication, decision making, drugs and alcohol abuse, goals, study skills, relationships, anger management, assertiveness, self esteem, job training,  etc. Literally it is skills for life. So, while we try and do HIV activities and awareness periodically, almost anything you are interested in can fall under lifeskills. Lifeskills volunteers do PACT club, English clubs, tutoring, teaching (although PC doesn't want us to, but it happens), sports, arts and crafts, hanging out with students, holding workshops for teachers on life skills/typing/lots of other things, working with out of school youth, and promoting awareness of lifeskills issues with big events such as world AIDS day celebrations, alcohol awareness events, and safe male circumcision campaigns. Some people with counseling experience can also capacity build their guidance and counseling departments on how to counsel students, and sometimes counsel students themselves.

Working with out of school youth is something I'm trying to start. Same lifeskills topics, but with older teens/younger 20-somethings that aren't in school. Another volunteer and I are putting together workshops for interested youth in her village, and I’m trying to see if my village youth would be interested in them as well.

So lifeskills is my primary project- written on my Peace Corps invitation and everything. PCVs also have secondary projects, although at times they can be bigger and more time consuming that your primary project. With secondary projects, the sky's the limit. You can plant gardens, work at the clinic, volunteer at NGOs/anything you can find at your village, build pit latrines, build libraries, build playgrounds, etc. You just need to make sure it’s something your community wants. I know of volunteers doing all of the above and more. I don’t have any big secondary projects right now, unless you count trying to start an English club at my school and working on permission to read to kids at the primary school. Or my volleyball coaching.

I sort of approach my service as lifeskills themed. Almost everything I’m interested in doing in my village, and that my village seems to want (besides hand-outs), can have a lifeskills aspect.

So, I try and tie in lifeskills to whatever I'm doing, but I do what I want/what my community wants.

Expectations, Part 2

Sorry this got kind of long. I would make it 2 posts, but I don't know where to split it.

I’ve been thinking about expectations a lot since I wrote my first post on it.  Mostly trying to figure out why I feel so frustrated so much of the time, when I didn’t think I had any high expectations.  What I’m actually doing is continuing to uncover my hidden expectations, evaluate them, trying to figure out if they are valid, and then figure out what I can change to unfrustrate myself. Sometimes I can change my own behavior, more often the expectation. It’s actually a good learning process, and it’s one of those things that I know will benefit me in the long run, but… its like character building.  End result good, process sucks.

Chatting with fellow volunteers, one thing we keep coming back to is being frustrated with systems in this country. I’ve already blogged that the ministry of education is like the ministry of magic in Harry Potter. But it seems all of the systems are mysterious, overly complicated, slow, and change without warning. Yes, I realize I’m living in a developing country. But Botswana is actually a middle income country, and with that and a good government, goes so much potential… and I think therein lies one of my (and a lot of people’s, including Batswana’s) hidden expectations.  There are a lot of resources here.  Things should work better than they do.

Tied to that is an overarching theme that has been weird to digest, an expectation that I got from listening to Peace Corps stories from other volunteers before I came. I thought I would be placed in a country with a lot less resources, but a lot more people eager and willing to change things. Instead, I’m in a middle income country with comparably, lots of resources and a population that overall, wants the government to fix everything and doesn’t think they individually can change things.  The first part of this is understandable- the government build roads, clinics, and schools when the country had nothing. Since the government owns half of the diamond mines, they could afford to. Currently the government is the largest employer in Botswana. On the surface there’s nothing wrong with that (other than the fact that the diamonds are going to run out in 10-20 years, but that’s another post for another day), but its lead to dependence on government. And not the type you hear politicians in the US wailing about during election season. American welfare will never rival the amount of financial, and really emotional, dependence that Batswana have on the government right now. Financially, it’s not necessarily a bad thing that the government is preventing a lot of people from starving by providing a welfare system to people without jobs (although job creation is a problem as well). Emotionally… it’s hard to convince people that there can be good jobs outside the government. And that good things can be done outside the government. And that you can create a village group that doesn’t have to be registered under some branch of government, for the love.  The people in some ways seem sort of stuck. With resources around them.  It’s such a weird environment to work in.

I also expected to make friends with people as I worked with them. That’s how it goes in the USA a lot, at least in my experience.  Here, I’m finding that people don’t want to do a lot with you until they know you. You become friends with someone and learn to trust them, and then you can do things together.

I also expected there to be a learning curve, but things would get progressively better. And while things are getting better, it’s not linear. It’s not even one step forward, two steps back. If that were the case, I’d just walk backwards and still get things done. It’s like a complicated square dance from one side of the room to the other. You think you are going one direction and then all the sudden someone spun you in a circle and you are do-si-doing someone you never met, and then you are back where you started going, what the hell just happened? And then you can skip halfway across the room and feel super productive, until you get spun around again.

In the beginning of May, a few weeks into the term, I had some returned Peace Corps volunteers (RPCVs) come to interview some of my kids for a project they are doing. It was sheer pulling teeth to get it to happen. My counterpart was out sick, and I just had to start frantically pulling teachers, anyone that was a friend of mine or had ever been nice to me, to help me find kids and be translators.  The interviews were 1-2 hours long. That’s a lot of time to pull teachers out of classes. Plus we had to translate the consent forms to the kids and make sure they were okay doing the interview. We may have had to do this 6 times for form 1 girls, and –still- didn’t get one to consent. It was kind of insane. At the end of the several day interview marathon, I did the Kings Foundation training. And learned not to schedule things back to back, because holy cow I was tired.  But in the midst of the relief and pride of actually getting those two activities to work… I was frustrated. Is every single thing I do in my village going to require this much effort? Am I going to have to sit on people to get things done, every time I want/need something done? A, that’s insane, and B, that’s not sustainable. And C, that’s going to piss everybody off, including myself. –Sigh- I took a few days off to visit friends and do some Peace Corps business in Gabs. When I got back to my village, I was in a bit of a funk. And it’s lasted a couple of weeks. I’m sort of on the verge of pulling myself out of it, we’ll see. But during this funk, I didn’t want to leave my house. Several days I just didn’t. And all my clubs got cancelled anyway for the last 3 weeks. A few other things got done. And I thought a lot.

I didn’t expect clubs to be such a battlefield during my Peace Corps service. This sort of goes back to the ‘things should work better’ expectation. Clubs get scheduled, and then get stepped on by anything else going on in school. Sports, testing, teacher workshops, outside groups coming in, meetings, late lunch, etc. And really, I can’t change the slightly wacked out school system, consisting of end of month testing, a 6-day schedule for a 5 day week (seriously), and overworked teachers. I can do everything the same, prepare things, check the calendar, etc, for clubs, and half the time they happen, and half the time they don’t. I think this is related to the definition of insanity- doing the same thing over and other again, and expecting different results. Except I’m expecting the same results and different things happen.  So, I decided that my give-a-damn is busted as far as clubs, or at least PACT club, is concerned. I’ll show up, and if clubs happen, cool. If they don’t, fine. I can’t sit on people or stress about something that’s supposed to happen weekly, that’s planned into the schedule, but still evades actually happening pretty often.

I decided that I need to take more initiative on my own to hang out with kids, because the club structure only works sometimes. And if I have an informal lunch scrabble club, and an informal yard hula hooping club, well, I’ll make the best I can, formal structures be damned. Ball sports, which have contributed to my lack of clubs this term, has given me the opportunity to hang out with the volleyball teams, and I’m hoping to continue getting to know those girls after the season ends.

I’ve gotten 2 teacher trainings to happen this term, as well as an all-school assembly. And aside from reminding people a few times to come, they were relatively painless. I’ve learned that things like this can happen if I can get them on the school calendar at the beginning of the term. If they don’t get on the magical calendar in the beginning, I can’t add them on in the middle of the term, even if the day is free. That would make people’s heads explode. So although it’s odd, it’s something I can work with. And I’ve decided that I don’t mind sitting on people to make one-time events happen. It’s one thing to remind everyone you have a workshop tomorrow, 1-2 times a term. It’s another to remind them to show up to your club every week. I’m learning to pick my battles.

I’m also learning not to put all of my eggs in one basket. Or, don’t count your club meetings before they happen. I’ve met members of the HIV support group in Salajwe and hope to help them with future projects. I’m also hoping to make a contact with someone working with out of school youth in my village, to work with them as well. I need to stop thinking that all I can do is go to school, because I need to find other things to do if school isn’t working out all the time.

I’m also learning to just show up more. It doesn’t matter that I’m not doing much. Being there makes people see me and shows I care. It helps me find opportunities when I catch random announcements, or hear that the schedule changed for a weird reason. I feel more productive out of my house than in it, which is pulling me out of my funk.

I guess that’s a lot of hidden expectations. But things are still happening; I’m less in a funk, and who knows? I’m still finding things to do, and I may have a PACT club before 2014.

Shoe-leather development

I’m finding out how grassy and rooty grassroots development can be.  I borrowed the shoe-leather in the title from the term shoe-leather epidemiology, which is where epidemiologists would actually wear down the leather of their shoes tracking disease cases as they sought to figure out what was making people sick.  I think I’m wearing down some shoe leather getting projects and people together.

My current going-ons are 2 PACT clubs, attempting to find out of school youth and show them a movie, talking to some guidance and counseling classes, co-leading a workshop with my counterpart, and planning for an NGO to come and do a training in my village. 

This doesn't sound like a lot considering it’s my full-time job, but let me tell you, it is.  And that’s because I have every day things going on too- school meetings, spending time with teachers and at the clinic. I also have random things going on, like helping to clean out the volunteers house that left, and going to an out of town wedding this weekend.  Also it’s nearing the end of the school term so teachers and students are busy.

It comes down to, I’m actually busy!  Woo! 

Today, case in point.  Walk to Kgotla (where the village chief is) for 8am meeting.  Chief is not there, so there is no meeting.  See from a distance that the social worker is in.  Surprise her in her office and try to get another date to show a movie in the village.  Walk to Lempu and find that exams ARE happening, because the school now has ink to print the tests.  So no visiting a class to talk to them this morning.  Talk with counterpart instead, and arrange to meet tomorrow to plan a workshop we are facilitating next week in another village.  Find teacher that has invited me to wedding, get asked to tea at her house.  I discover I do like soft porridge, hang out with a friend (side note: I have friends!!!), and catch up on Generations.  Walk to clinic to see if we can use a room there to show a movie.  They say they will bring it up in their weekly meeting and tell me Monday.  I see them packing a truck and note that their mobile clinic to another village has moved from Fridays to Wednesday because of transport- this is important because I want to go with them some time.  Go home to finish preparing for PACT club at primary school.  Get a text saying the students are testing so no PACT club.  Go to primary school anyway to meet with guidance and counseling teacher and school head to get permission for teachers to participate in next weeks workshop.   Go home again and try to make travel plans for the weekend, plans for the NGO training, and prepare for tomorrow’s PACT club.

I text and call people when I can, but an awful lot of grassroots development at the village level works much better face to face.  It's partly culture, partly communication.  There's also some formality in asking permission for things here, so I usually can't get fast answers to questions like can we meet here?  The answer needs to come from a committee or a meeting.

So I traipse around my village a lot trying to get things going.  This is by no means a complaint- I like to walk, I have an umbrella to shade myself from the sun, and a good fan to plop in front of when I’m done J  But I might need new shoes at some point.  ^_^

The conversation I have in my head at least once a day:

Emotions: This is really frustrating.

Brain: What is frustrating?

E: Trying to get ANYTHING done.

B: Well, you are still learning the system.

E: Their system sucks.

B: Come on, just cause it’s not how we do it in America doesn’t mean it’s bad.

E: But I feel like less gets done in their system, and it takes way longer.

B: Well no system is perfect.  And this is a developing country.  If they had all their crap together, Peace Corps wouldn’t be here.

E: I guess.  I just feel like the things that are lacking prevent me from doing much.

B: Like what?

E: Well the ministry of Education (MOE) wants us to do lifeskills.  That’s kind of hard when there aren’t enough teachers and the kids are hungry.

B: All school systems, probably in the entire world, need more teachers.  Ask your friends in the states, I’m almost positive they’d say the same thing- lack of teachers and lack of resources.

E: This is different.  This is entire classes being left with no teacher for multiple terms, and then yelled at for failing their classes.

B: Ok.  How can you fix that?

E: Um, I can’t.  Even if I were to just randomly start teaching a few classes, which technically I’m not supposed to do, there would still be lots of classes without teachers.  And I don’t think the kids would understand me anyway,

B: Ok.  So you aren’t going to be able to fix everything.  You aren’t superwoman.  That’s probably the first step to lessening your frustrations.

E: I’m not trying to be superwoman, I just want to actually have something work!

B: What about your PACT clubs?

E: What about them?  It’s taken more than a month just to try and start them, and I still don’t know if I have teachers on board.

B: Kids show up to the one at Lempu.

E: Yeah but the teachers don’t.

B: I didn’t say it’s perfect, but it’s something.

E: But the point of my being here is to build teacher capacity.  Running the club on my own won’t do that.

B: You are here for many reasons, one of which is capacity building.  That’s not limited to teachers; I’d say it also counts with students.

E: So I should just focus on the students and do everything myself?  That’s not sustainable.

B: I didn’t say stop trying with the teachers, I just said don’t discount the impact you are having on the students, even if it doesn’t seem like much.  Building lifeskills in students is really long-term sustainability.

E: Ok.  I’d really like to actually work with teachers though.  And that is my frustration with the lack of resources.  They seem to actually want to help, but are often too busy and overwhelmed.

B: Well, getting things off the ground often takes more work than sustaining them.  If you get the clubs going, trying to draw them in as much as possible, they may feel less overwhelmed at the idea of keeping them going with you.

E: Yeah, but they are still really busy.

B: Remember getting in arguments with you parents in high school about homework and stuff?  Was the issue really being too busy, or priorities?

E: Usually priorities.  So I’m supposed to have them prioritize clubs over classes? That’s whack.

B: No, I don’t think they have to make that decision.  You just have to help them understand the importance of the clubs, that even though there are no examinations involved, that they still really help the students. If you can get the teachers to prioritize some of these activities, they will make time for them.  They’ll figure out how to work it in their schedule.

E: That’s easier said than done.

B: That’s probably a good description of Peace Corps in a nutshell.  Besides, the hardest part is done- they care.  Making someone care is infinitely harder than getting them to work on something they already care about.

E: Yeah.  What about my hungry students?

B: Feed them?

E: With what? I can’t pull paleche out of thin air.

B: Doesn’t your school have a garden?

E: In theory.

B: I think your friend already pointed out, theoretical tomatoes are much less useful than real ones.

E: :P

B: Look into the garden- if 200 students are planting vegetables, that should help with the food problem.  Be creative.

E: Arg.

B: Now what?

E: It’s just… I worry that anything I do is going to turn out wrong.  I feel like there is a real culture of dependence here, and I don’t know what to do with it.

B: There is a culture of dependence.  It’s the result of centuries of colonialism and lots of other things. 

E: It’s annoying.

B: It’s worse than annoying, but do you really think your 2 years in your village will erase hundreds of years of dependent thinking?

E: Of course not.

B: Good, we’re back to figuring out what you can and can’t change.

E: Jerk.

B: Dweeb.

E: My issue is not to fix it, my issue is to not contribute to it!

B: How do you think you will be contributing to it?

E: Starting clubs, or anything by myself. Giving anything to people, even my friends.  Sharing ideas.

B: But even if that happens a little bit, think of the programs you are providing them with.  Lifeskills.  Some of the ideas in which are critical thinking, taking control of your life, and making good decisions.

E: Yeah, but I’ve already had people say things implying they can’t do this type of thing on their own, and that’s not true.  I’m not smarter than they are.

B: You aren’t smarter than them, but you are more empowered.

E: Stop throwing around development buzzwords, it’s annoying.

B: But I think it’s true.  You believe you can do these things and that they can too.  They don’t believe that yet.  That’s where you can come in.

E: And how do I do that?

B: A lot of what you are already trying to do-  Pushing people to work with you. Later on in your service, having them run more and more stuff until you can step away. 

E: -sigh-

B: It’s not something you can really put on your to-do list for the day.  That’s where the relationship building comes in.

E: And that’s the hardest part.

B: Always.  Try inviting some teachers over for dinner on the weekend, or actually using your soccer ball for once.  Talk with people instead of taking pictures of goats all the time :P

E: Fine, fine.  I’ll start when it’s not 500 degrees outside.

B: -facepalm-

Edit: I should give credit to my best friend Babs for supplying most of my brain's side of this conversation, via a conversation she and I had a few days ago.  ^_^