Musings on Friendships

Dear future potentially married self,

I'm not trying to make any assumptions here, but there is a chance that you'll be married in the future.  And this IS something that your current single self wants (in the future).  That being said, please remember that you have freaking awesome friends that you have made as a single person.  And please don't ditch them when you get married.  I know that when people get married they sometimes say, 'I didn't know what love was until I got married', etc etc, or stop spending time with their friends because all they want to do is look googly eyed at their true love. There might be a separate letter to you asking you to please not do that too much in public. But I digress.
Don't forget your friends.  They are seriously awesome.  They have laughed with you, cried with you, carried you through hell and back, worked with you, played with you, tried to change the world with you.  These are the people that you can build silly gingerbread houses with and form the group that bursts out laughing in the middle of studying scripture.  You've said you can call me at 2am and they did, and then they returned the favor.  These are the people you sat in the hallway of your apartment and talked for hours on end with.  These are the people that supported your decision to go sledding in a shopping cart, and to do hurricane relief work after Katrina.  The ones that know the crazy stories from your childhood, and college, and grad school, and are also good friends with your mom.  The ones that challenge your beliefs and make you grow as a person.  They are your co-workers, roommates, mentors, and the people of all ages that fill your life.  These are people your current single self hopes you will spend the rest of your life knowing, and growing with, and spending time with and keeping in touch with.
So if you fall in love and get married, don't say you didn't know what love is until that point.  Because that's really not true.  Romantic love is different, and so please remember to throw that adjective in there.  Because agape and philos love, the love of God and friends, you've know your whole life, in ways that many people never even glimpse.   Hang on to that.  It's just as if not more important than a spouse.
You've got the best friends on the planet and then some.  Don't throw them under the bus for a boy.

Love,
(Single) Me

A letter to myself

Dear Future Self,

I’ve got about 3 months, slightly less, left in Blacksburg. Then I embark on the journey of moving to Atlanta and starting grad school, which will hopefully result in a job in public health and international travel. The trade off is I’m leaving my home of nine years, a steady job, lots of friends, and probably a sense of stability for a while.

I hope I don’t regret this move, this money spent on graduate school, this self induced whirlwind of change. But if in the future things get rough, or I miss Blacksburg, which I’m sure I will, I want you to know my reasons for the change.

I want to go somewhere different. I want to live in an area bigger than Blacksburg while I’m single, and able to move around and do things on a whim. I love Blacksburg and always will, but I don’t want to put roots down at age 18 and never move- it’s just not who I am.

I want to try something new career wise. I have enjoyed both jobs I’ve had in Blacksburg in chemistry, but I’ve decided I want to branch out from the lab a bit. I also don’t have a lot of room to move up with my current education level in chemistry.

I want to travel overseas and help people on different levels- personally, locally, nationally, internationally. Public health seems to be a great way to combine my interests of people, helping people and service, medicine, science, and education.

I want to teach. But I also know that I want to travel and do things overseas, and I feel like I’m going to regret not doing those things now when I feel like I have the chance. Hence why the masters in public health instead of masters in education.

As I’m finishing up my Blacksburg years, I’m trying to weed through stuff and simultaneously declutter my life as well as preserve the memories of this time in my life. I want to be free to move around and make new memories in Decatur. But I also want to remember the good and bad times from here, the great friends, how I grew. So I hope in the future I’m not sad that I through some stuff away. But even though some of the things I’m tossing evoke memories, I want to make room for new ones.

I’m stepping into the unknown here, and for the most part I’m excited. But if in the future I regret some part of this decision- moving, grad school, new career, throwing stuff out- the reason I did it is this: I’d rather regret doing something than not doing something. I might be upset at myself in the future for doing this. But I know I’d be upset at myself in the future for not doing it.

So future self, I have thought this through and I hope it works out. And I promise that I did at least try J

Love,

Me