Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Snowy Memories

 

Snowy Memories

A good snow reminds me of snow days as a kid. (Also some shenanigans and adventures as a young adult, but that’s a separate post ha) Growing up in Maryland, we usually got a couple of snows every winter. They were usually only a few inches, but that was enough for sledding.

The house I grew up in until I was 12 was on a hill from the front to back, so the side yard sloped down into the backyard. Excellent sledding on the side without the neighbor’s fence, except for 2 things.

  1. There was a tree right in the middle of the bottom of the hill (!)
  2. If you DIDN'T hit the tree, you kept going down a much bigger hill and would wind up on a highway (!!)

So we put a canoe pillow on tree and you actually aimed for it when sledding (it was a small hill). When I was little, I didn’t weigh enough to ever make it to the tree, but when one of my parents sat behind me on the sled, we very much did. Cue much excitement and giggling :D

When I was older my parents drove me to the ENORMOUS hill at the middle school, and my friends and I would go FLYING. Especially the time I hit a very well-constructed snow ramp 2/3 of the way down that was invisible from the top of the hill. I was 8, I lived.

When we moved into another house when I was 12, I went sledding in my friend’s yard 2 houses away, and she and her siblings had constructed an elaborate sledding track that we whooshed along. It was kind of like a luge track; I think they even poured water on it to freeze it. It had a big curve so you wouldn’t sled directly into the basement of the house, but I remember they banked the curve well. The level of difficulty increased when her dogs were outside, because while the lab and German Shepherd just ran around in the snow, the Rottweiler wanted to help you sled and would grab your foot and try and fling you down the sledding track backwards. I wish I had photos/videos of this, but alas I was born in the dinosaur ages before cell phones, so you’ll just have to imagine. A lot of screaming and laughing and ‘Butchie, stop it! Ouch! Quit it! Mooooooom!’

I think the coolest snow memory I have is from 1993, when we had ‘The Blizzard of ‘93’. We got a good 2 feet of snow and were out of school for the entire week. That’s like an extra Christmas when you’re a kid. My friend Liz and I walked in the woods behind her street for what seemed like hours and miles. Looking it up on a map as an adult, I think we walked ½ mile, but in deep snow. We were completely in the snowy woods, and we found a stream we didn’t know was there. We also found a deer antler. (Which as I was holding it and Liz was like, that’s an antler, I dropped it in horror thinking that meant there was a dead deer around. She laughed at me and informed me that deer shed their antlers yearly.) Walking in the woods like that, an 8- and 9-year-old by ourselves, was just the coolest thing. We knew we weren’t lost because we just had to follow our snow trail back. For some reason we never tried to go back in warmer weather, so that place lives in my mind as our epic snow adventure.

I haven’t sledded in a while as an adult, but I will always enjoy a good snow, and even better when I hear kids squealing with laughter playing in it. 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

10 years

It will be ten years tomorrow since I lost my dad. Ten years is a long time. It’s a third of my life. A lot has happened in ten years. The last time I saw my dad, I had finished two years of college and just dropped out for a semester because we realized how sick he was.  Since then I finished my chemistry degree, worked for a small pharmaceutical company, worked for the chemistry department at Virginia Tech, and then decided to switch careers. I got a masters in global public health, and spent a summer doing research in Ghana. I moved from Maryland to Blacksburg to Atlanta to Africa. Now I’m serving as a Peace Corps volunteer in Botswana. Sometimes I feel like dad may think I’ve lost my mind, if he could see where I am today. It’s not that I’m doing anything bad, but it’s so far from the course he helped me set at age 18, or maybe 15.

It scares me sometimes that my life seems so normal without my dad. What they say about a ‘new normal’ after someone dies is completely true. Normal now is just me and my mom. We spend holidays together (when I’m not in the Peace Corps), vacation together, help each other move, talk on the phone weekly. Memories of a Christmas where it was the three of us are so far removed that it feels like the memories belong to someone else.

And yet the memories are there, in every part of my life. Dad teaching me to do laundry when I was twelve. Dad taking me hiking in North Carolina when I was six. Dad chaperoning girl scout trips, when he got all of us to chorus BEEP BEEP BEEP as he backed up the old red van, causing my girl scout leader to laugh so hard so could barely see the road. Taking me canoeing with his boy scout troop when I was five and plucking me out of the water when I fell in. Helping me with math homework, teaching me how to budget my allowance. Tolerating my hamsters and guinea pig, and even voluntarily picking up cinnamon (the guinea pig) every now and then. Supporting me in school, sports, drama, my faith. Pushing me to give things my best effort. Taking the time to talk with me about things (sometimes more than I wanted). Swimming in the ocean with me. Cooking creatively in the kitchen, to the point that I demanded to know exactly –what- went in that omelet before I would eat it. Taking me on visits to colleges. Volunteering with my church youth group hours and hours a week. Mentoring boy scouts. Loving and respecting my mom. Being a peacemaker in our family when things got heated. Telling everyone to be alert… because the world needs more lerts. Teaching me by example how to sleep for 14 hours straight and then being WAY hyper on family vacations. Frying 6 turkeys one thanksgiving to get the most use out of the oil. Opening his Christmas presents one year lying on his back, kicking his feet in the air, pretending to be 5 (while mom was afraid he’d drop the dutch oven he was unwrapping on his face). Always logical, always caring, always a sense of humor.

I see so much of him in myself, and I like that. I inherited his and mom’s heart for service and youth, a big reason I’m where I am now, serving as a PCV working with youth. I feel like I could have explained my career change to him and he would have been supportive, I’m just sorry I never got that chance.

He was also very much in favor of me taking risks and being my own person, so I don’t think it would bother him that I’m hanging out in Africa. I was showing signs of the international travel bug as a freshman in college. I went to him with my plan (that didn’t materialize) of going to Kazakhstan over my first spring break, and we strategized over how best to break the idea to mom without freaking her out. (Keep in mind this was like, 2 months after 9/11).

I have no regrets about how I spent the time I had with my dad. Sure, I was an emotional teenager at times, but we were able to talk things out and nothing was really left unsaid. I’m only sorry that the beginning of our friendship as two adults got cut so short.

I found the following shortly after dad died and I always identified with it. I was 20 when he passed, and the cars full of teenagers would often be going to and from scouting activities and youth group.

A great man died today.

He wasn't a world leader or a famous doctor or a war hero or a sports figure. He was no business tycoon, and you will never see his name in the financial pages. But he was one of the greatest men who ever lived. He was my father.

I guess you might say he was a person who was never interested in getting credit or receiving honors. He did corny things like pay bills on time, go to church on Sunday and serve as an officer in the P.T.A.

He helped his kids with their homework and drove his wife to do the grocery shopping on Thursday nights. He got a great kick out of hauling his teenagers and their friends to and from football games.

Tonight is my first night without him. I don't know what to do with myself. I am sorry now for the times I didn't show him the proper respect. But I am grateful for a lot of other things.

I am thankful that God let me have my father for 15 years. And I am happy that I was able to let him know how much I loved him. That wonderful man died with a smile on his face and fulfillment in his heart. He knew that he was a great success as a husband and a father, a brother, a son, and a friend.

I wonder how many millionaires can say that.





Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Take me home, country roads


I've realized that I’m listening to a lot of folk music recently.  It’s good for quiet nights in a small village where you start thinking about lots of things.  I've always liked some folk music, and Peter Paul and Mary have always been one of my favorite groups.

Here in Botswana, I’m listening to John Denver a lot.  This probably makes my mom smile, because she really likes his music, and would play it when I was a kid.  And I’d run screaming out of the room because for some reason I hated it when I was around 10.  I didn't like anything having to do with country music, except maybe Johnny Cash, until I was in college.

The song I listen to the most is ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’.  I've never lived in West Virginia, but I lived in Southwest Virginia most of my adult life, and the Blue Ridge Mountains and Shenandoah River are a bit of home to me.  And the song makes me think of my home in Maryland, and my family’s homes in South Carolina as well.

Surprisingly enough, Batswana also seem to like John Denver, because I've heard him on the radio at least 2-3 times.  The first time was in a combi driven by Peace Corps staff during training last fall.  We were going to Gabs for the day and there were about 14-15 of us in the combi, having 8-9 different conversations with the radio on in the background.  All of the sudden ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’ comes on.  Everyone in the entire combi stopped all of their conversations and we proceeded to belt out the chorus each time it came around, with several of us singing all the verses as well.  We burst out laughing at the end, chattering about how unexpected it was to hear John Denver on the radio in Botswana.  And our driver, Zeeman, slowly changed the radio station while giving us a look of slight terror, as in, WHAT just happened?!? Crazy Americans…

As I listen to the song, it sometimes makes me homesick, sometimes makes me wonder if I should be here and not at home, and always makes me realize how much I love my home, my country, and the opportunity to live abroad.  And as I sit here thinking of home, I know that for the rest of my life, hearing ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’ will make me think of that combi ride, and of my time in a small village in Botswana.

"I hear her voice 
In the mornin' hour she calls me 
The radio reminds me of my home far away 
And drivin' down the road I get a feelin' 
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday 

Country Roads, take me home 
To the place I belong 
West Virginia, mountain momma 
Take me home, country roads "