"I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door!"

Lots of points to whoever gets my movie reference in the title ;)

So, I break doors and locks in this country. I don't actually break them with force, they just seem to break in my presence. While staff and other volunteers have pointed out that people often take shortcuts with construction here, I feel like I've had waaaay more door and lock incidents than other volunteers.

- My first night in the country, at a lodge in Gabs, the key to the door of the room I was staying in didn't work, and it took 3 staff to convince them I wasn't lying/inept and they finally moved us to another room.

- My first week at site the hinge to my bedroom door broke (and it opened to the outside), nearly causing the whole door to fall off, and I had to call PC to call someone in my village to come make a fake wire hinge so I could close and lock my door.

- My bathroom door swelled so I couldn't close it because of the rain.

- My living room door lock would randomly not work, so at various times Rose (another PCV) and a random guy in the village had to break into my living room for me.

- The handle broke off the kitchen door because it required so much force to open and close it.

- All 4 of the doors and locks in that house had issues at some point, which is one of the reasons I wound up moving to a new house.

-I dropped the lock to the gate in my yard in the sand, and then it wouldn't open, which required me to climb  the gate in and out of my yard for 2 weeks until a friend could come and jimmy it open with cooking oil.

- At the new house, the bathroom door decided it wouldn't lock after living here 6 months. Waiting on landlord to fix it.

- At another PC conference in Gabs, Barbara and I could -barely- lock and unlock the door. On day 3 of the conference Barbara couldn't even get the key in the lock, so she went to the front desk for help. They responded, Oh! Try this key! And gave her a completely different one, which worked beautifully. They had REKEYED the door while we were out of the room, and it never occurred to them to tell us or give us the new key.

- My current living room door is swollen with the rain again so I have to yank or push really hard to open or close it.

- A few weeks ago the key to my kitchen door broke, so I was locked out of my kitchen for 36 hours while I sent a friend to hardware stores in Gabs to find me a new key.

All this to say, doors/locks are not my friend in this country. But it makes for some pretty hilarious text messaging between me and Aileen.

Mary: I’ve managed to break the key to my kitchen door and am locked out of my kitchen.

Aileen: Hah, omg, just read your text. How on earth do you manage these things?

M: Teacher friend looking for key at hardware store in Gabs and can’t find it. Facepalm.

A: Urrrrm… not good. Maybe that model is out of stock.

M: He found the key! Now to see if it’s actually the right one… and if I didn’t break the lock too.

A: The fascinating saga of one woman/s search for the key… to open her kitchen door.

M: Houston, we have entered the kitchen. I repeat, we have entered the kitchen.

A: You break doors, I break sim cards.

M: Speaking of which, my living room door has swelled with the rain and it now requires a karate move to get it open.

A: At this point in your career its to be expected.

Under the Surface: Part 2

In part 1 I talked about how the treatment of children in this country is a huge problem, and really goes against the national principle of Botho on which Tswana society and Botswana is based on. I don’t think theres something inherently wrong with Batswana,  I think this is due to a severe lack of mental health awareness and services. To clarify, when I say mental health, I mean things like stress reduction and coping techniques, support systems, and counseling, as well as psychiatric services and medication.

I feel like people in this country are traumatized. Not everyone, but many, especially in rural areas. They are traumatized by lack of family support systems, systematic and cyclical physical and sexual abuse, and profound loss. There is no mental health system or even awareness of mental/emotional  health needs. Children are taught to bottle up their emotions from a young age, so people don’t deal with their feelings. I feel like what Peace Corps should be sending here above all else are mental health professionals and counselors. My working assumption is that at least half the people I interact with probably have some level of post-traumatic stress disorder from losing loved ones and/or abuse, and then having no way to work through such trauma.

I don’t think it was always like this. I’ve read and heard stories about Botswana from 50-60 years ago, and it seemed like there was more of a village culture and intact families and support systems, even though there was much more overall poverty and less development. But development changed some of that, as well as the AIDS epidemic. Half a generation was wiped out. Family structures got messed up badly. Grandparents and young teenagers were raising kids. Since ARVs have become available, the death rate from HIV has plummeted. But in some ways, the damage has been done. There is a generation traumatized from so much loss, and they are now raising children. But they haven’t really dealt with their own trauma, so it’s hard to be a good parent, let alone raise emotionally healthy kids. Lots of kids suffer from neglect, especially in the rural areas. Marriage rates are very low due to the high cost of getting married, so almost every woman I know has one or more children before getting married, if she gets married. The kids often have different fathers. This considerably messes with the traditional family structure and support system. Kids no longer have aunts and uncles helping initiate them into adulthood and explaining sexuality to them, so in most cases no one has these conversations with them. This contributes to high HIV infection and teen pregnancy rates, and the cycle continues.

I don’t want people to think I’m bashing Tswana culture, because I’m not trying to. I understand that it’s different than American culture. And I’m certainly not trying to compare it to American culture and suggest that America has everything right- I could write (and there are written) books about the societal problems in America.  In Tswana culture, men often had multiple wives, something the government is trying to discourage now. Extended family plays a big part in raising kids, and that’s been disrupted by both HIV and development with people moving around. Traditionally it seems people weren’t supposed to be overly emotional in public, but there were places they could show emotion, such as at church and funerals. They had a support network of their village and their extended family. The point is… the way this culture was, seemed to work pretty well for them. But things have changed and it’s not working well anymore.

One symptom of this I see in children and adults is emotional numbness. When you are taught to bottle up your emotions and not feel, or when so much trauma happens you don’ know how to deal with it, you start acting impassively when emotional things happen. It makes it hard to have an emotional connection in relationships. But it’s a coping mechanism to deal with further trauma. I see this when teachers at my school mention someone died, with no emotion in their voice at all. And then move onto a new topic 30 seconds later.

There aren’t easy solutions to any of this, and to suggest there are is to minimize the pain that these people have been through and are still going through.  But I really believe that the first step is talking about it. Talking about how children are treated in this country, and mental health in general. The countries that have made the most progress in their fight against HIV are the ones that acknowledged the problem existed and prepared to address it, not the ones that pretended it didn’t exist.  I think the same thing applies here.

As this relates to me, this ugly stuff under the surface is part of why it’s such an emotional roller coaster to live here. People (and Peace Corps) tell us we are so lucky to be in Botswana, they are so good at development and look at all the progress they’ve made! And that is true, and also not the whole truth. In one day I’ll teach 2 classes where kids stare and me and won’t talk, see starving dogs roam the village, watch a student get caned for some infraction, see kids having a ball playing soccer, talk with a friend about America, listen as people talk with no emotion in their voices about boys beating girls for sex, and marvel that my rural village has 2 schools, a clinic, running water, and electricity. It’s up and down, good and bad, all the time.

I want to do my part in raising awareness about the treatment of children and mental/emotional health, which is why I decided to post this. It may seem weird to combine the two, but I firmly believe that unmet mental health needs are contributing to the maltreatment of children here. These are not bad people. These are a peaceful, respectful people. These are my friends.  Hurt people hurt people.

I hope I haven’t insulted anyone by writing this, especially if they are a Motswana. But the part of the ambassador’s letter that got to me the most was the end, where she wrote “As for me, Botswana and its young people are now in my heart for good. For the rest of my life, I will be cheering you on.”

Me, too.

Under the Surface: Part 1

(I broke my original response to the ambassador’s piece into 2 parts)

I guess I should explain a bit why I posted the ambassador’s piece like I did. When I first read it… I honestly cried. On and off for about an hour, as I read and reread it in my living room. Because someone other than a Peace Corps Volunteer gets it. Or rather, publicly acknowledges it. Not everything is okay in this country. Not everything about Botswana is the success story of Africa. And it goes beyond poverty, and education, and the HIV epidemic.

And the ways in which it’s broken are under the surface. Because on the surface, Botswana IS the success story of Africa. It’s done wonderful things with its diamond money like building roads, schools, and hospitals. It’s trying to invest in social programs and also diversify its economy. It’s a peaceful people that work hard at avoiding corruption. All of this is true, and very good. But there is more to be done. When I see articles and discussions about Botswana’s future, they focus on diversifying the economy and fighting the AIDS epidemic. Those are very important and challenging tasks, and should be given a lot of time and energy. But what I see at the grassroots level is what the ambassador wrote about. The children in this country are neglected, frightened, and abused. This doesn’t really seem to get any press, yet I feel like this is by far the biggest problem to be addressed.

I’ve ranted about the ministry of education before. The ministry fails to provide adequate teachers, books, food, and basic supervision to children at school, and then blames the kids for failing.  The conditions of the boarding schools are appalling- people would be arrested in the US for keeping prisoners in these conditions.  There is rampant sexual abuse of students by teachers. Corporeal punishment is legal, and while politicians debate whether students should be caned, there are teachers and school officials literally beating the crap out of kids for things such as not having the proper uniform, which isn’t the kids fault.

Sometimes conditions are home aren’t much better, and they are harder to monitor. But I have a copy of that behavioral survey the ambassador referenced, and I’ve seen first-hand the abuse, depression, and neglect that it measured. But what gets me the most is the fear. When I teach, it’s almost like pulling teeth to get kids to talk. Teachers walk around with a stick to get kids into classrooms. That’s also how they herd goats and cattle in this country. Is it telling that animals and kids are often treated the same way? Beat them into submission? When I make eye contact with students they look away and blush or giggle, especially the girls. They have the same response to the rest of the teachers. I understand that part of Tswana culture is a deep respect for elders, and in some ways, I wish I could export some of that to America. But there is a fine line between respect and actual fear, and I see it crossed daily. Because children are scared into behaving, adults can tell them to do anything and they will. Or do anything to them and they will take it. This leads to the abuse and neglect.

Healthy Batswana children won’t look exactly like healthy American children, and some of what bothers me may indeed be cultural. But the parts that are human rights violations transcend culture and are mostly not a traditional part of this culture. I think the underlying reasons for a lot of the mistreatment of children in this country stem from unmet emotional/mental health needs, and I’ll go into that in part 2.

Please read this

Sometimes I struggle with describing what I see in Botswana, and in my village, without sounding negative, condescending, and judgmental. So too often I skip it and post pictures of goats. But a few days ago the American ambassador to Botswana, Michelle Gavin, wrote an op-ed for the Patriot, and she described Botswana, Batswana, my Peace Corps experience, and all of the conflicting emotions I've felt, and she did it much better than I ever could. It's a bit long, but please read it. (Paragraph breaks are mine.)

An Op-ed by Ambassador Gavin published in the Patriot on Sunday: Botswana’s Greatest Resource

Botswana is a magical place. Its people are warm, friendly and engaging. Its countryside is among the most beautiful in the world. And since independence, its leaders have used not just diamond wealth, but also integrity and a commitment to investing in people to build and sustain Africa’s most successful and prosperous democracy. 

For over two and a half years, I have been privileged to serve as the United States Ambassador to one of the world’s great success stories. My tenure in Botswana has reinforced my belief that this country’s potential is vast. With the right decisions and the hard work of its citizens, Botswana can continue to prosper in an increasingly globalized economy; its democracy can continue to mature: its institutions can continue to set and meet the highest standards for integrity and efficacy. I also believe that Botswana can continue to be a force for good in the world far more influential than the size of its population would suggest. 

For all of these reasons, I have devoted much of my tenure here to engaging with Botswana’s youth. Youth make up the largest segment of Botswana’s population. They represent Botswana’s potential. They are Botswana’s future. As President Obama’s representative in Botswana, one of my jobs is to translate his commitment to youth around the world and into concrete support for Botswana’s young people. My government has done, and will continue to do, a great deal. From the Peace Corp Volunteers assigned to scores of towns and villages throughout Botswana working with young people on life skills to the exchange programs that have sent Batswana youth to the United States, we are engaging with young people in Botswana and working to support them every day. My embassy has set up a Youth Advisory Council to discuss issues impacting youth. We will send 25 talented, young Batswana to the United States to participate in President Obama’s Young African Leaders Initiative. We have worked with the Government of Botswana to gather more data on the challenges young people confront. We support young entrepreneurs, and we have devoted millions of dollars to helping Botswana’s orphans and vulnerable children. 

Last week I had the privilege of interacting with hundreds of youth throughout southern Botswana, in locales as diverse as Moshupa, Mabutsane, and Sekoma, on a “Youth Listening Tour.” I heard firsthand from groups of 15-24-year-olds about their personal dreams, their aspirations for Botswana, and the challenges they face. These conversations were similar to the many other discussions I have had with Botswana’s young people over the last 30 months. In all of the exchanges, I have found that in many ways Botswana youth are like their peers everywhere in the world. They want to participate in society at a local and a global level; they want the exposure that comes with travel or attending school overseas; they want to make a difference in their communities; they want to find meaningful jobs in the private sector that allow them to save for the future and start families. 

But in addition to revealing these laudable, even inspiring, aspirations, many of my conversations with young people around this country -- and with their passionate Batswana advocates in the health, education, and social work communities -- have exposed deeply troubling problems. Girls – often very young girls – talk about relentless sexual pressure from adult men in their lives. Youth describe feelings of isolation and worthlessness; far too many feel that no adult in their lives will listen to them or take them seriously. Regardless of gender, young people often describe a violent, even hostile environment at home and at school that seems completely at odds with the peaceful, gentle culture that celebrates botho and values the contribution of each individual. 

The often painful anecdotes of young Batswana are backed up by data. Adolescent girls continue to be infected with HIV at far higher rates than their male counterparts. Stubbornly high malnutrition rates among children (13.5% of Batswana children under five are underweight; 26% are stunted) persist despite Botswana’s robust social safety nets, and those closest to the issue acknowledge that neglect is a very real part of the problem. Results from the Botswana Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey of schoolchildren, funded by the U.S. Government and conducted in partnership with the Ministry of Education and Skills Development, indicated that violence is a very common presence in the lives of young people. Over one-quarter of respondents had been involved in a physical fight in the previous year that required them to seek medical treatment. 13% of sexually active students identified rape as their first sexual encounter. 

Of course, these indicators point to the need for broad social mobilization to give parents and caregivers the knowledge, skills, and support they need to ensure children are not left behind. Botswana’s schools can also play a critical role in beginning to turn some of these numbers around, but today, too often, they are part of the problem. I have heard this directly from the young people with whom I have spoken. I have also heard tales of sexual and physical abuse perpetrated by teachers and school administrators from civil society and traditional leaders. In some cases, the perpetrators were never charged and remain in their classrooms to this day. Many countries, including my own, have established and implemented policies designed to prevent violence in schools. These policies include universal school-based violence prevention education for students. They also include education for parents in order to improve parent-child communication about sensitive issues including sexual health; annual training for all school personnel; a code of conduct for all school personnel; and lastly, standard operating procedures to respond to breaches of conduct by school personnel. 

I hope the Government of Botswana will make similar policies a priority, and hold teachers and school administrators accountable for implementing them. Botswana’s schools must also provide their students with the knowledge and tools necessary to live healthy lives, and to set and achieve life goals if they are to contribute to the country’s future success. Botswana’s Life Skills program, which the United States Peace Corps supports, is designed to accomplish this, promoting positive identity and self-esteem, positive communication, decision-making and critical thinking skills, goal setting, and emotional health. But Botswana can do more to make Life Skills work for its young people, by implementing Life Skills as a standalone, testable curriculum rather than trying to infuse it into all subject areas – which too often makes Life Skills an afterthought. 

It is telling that the late Nelson Mandela devoted a great deal of his post-presidency passion and energy to children’s issues. His singular wisdom, experience, and vision led him to conclude that “there is no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” Children, he said “should be seen and heard as our most treasured assets. They are not ours to be used or abused but to be loved and nurtured and encouraged to engage in life to the full extent of their being, free from fear.” The truth is that too many children in Botswana are living in fear. Too many are neglected. Too many are exposed to violence or exploitation at home or at school. This issue, perhaps more than any other -- more than the scourge of HIV/AIDS, more than the difficulty of economic diversification -- imperils the future of this great country. It is entirely within Botswana’s capacity to address this threat. Doing so will require a sense of urgency; concrete, fully implemented policy initiatives; and energized partnerships among parents and caregivers, teachers and school administrators, police and social workers. The United States will be a reliable ally in these efforts. 

As for me, Botswana and its young people are now in my heart for good. For the rest of my life, I will be cheering you on.

Aileen's Wedding

Aileen, the PCV in the village next to me and my good friend, got married to her American non-PCV finance Adam last week in Letlhakeng.

We hung out at the Rural Administration Commission (RAC) for the officiant.

The actual ceremony was very Batswana in a room at the RAC, but they are MARRIED!

The happy couple and the officiants. 

They got serenaded  by everyone in the offices on their way out.

They had a nice reception at a little restaurant in Letlhakeng.

The bridal party. 

Speechifying in true Botswana style.

The only bummer was the bridal party hit a donkey on the way back from the wedding, which dented the rental car and caused a few hours of insurance and police report stress.

But we celebrated  more back at Aileen's place, including Jess making us all multiple smoothies. Congrats to the happy couple, who had to jump through a LOT of bureacratic mess to get married. PULA!

The Wet Goat Files

When it rains, I often get a perimeter of goats around my house, trying to stand in the one foot of roof overhang so they stay (somewhat) dry. So I photobombed them :)

There were 4.

Then there were 6.

Then there were 8.

Hi. Can we come in?

You look dry in there.

Goat friends.

This one looks slightly stoned to me.

It's me again, Jim Bob the goat.

We are cute. Can we PLEASE come in?

I tell good jokes!

I can fit part of me in!

The only downside to this barrage of cuteness is that the outside of my house looks and smells like a goat crawl for a bit. 

Swakapmund

Swakapmund is a beach town that looks like a little like an alpine ski resort without the snow. And with mostly Africans instead of Europeans, although there were a fair amount of European tourists.

Some of the architecture made me forget what continent I was on. 

Or if I was in a fairy tale.

We frolicked on the sand dunes, including sand boarding and quad biking.

Quad biking was a lot of fun, although it took me a while to remember I wasn't actually ON a bike, and to go faster on hills.

The dunes were gorgeous.

We celebrated the New Year with some Afrikaners we met sand boarding.

We spent a lot of time on the beach. Not in the water, which was recently in Antarctica and VERY cold, but just on the beach.

Quad biking on the dunes.

Our backpackers, which reminded us of a dutch attic.

We saw seals on the rocks by the beach.

So cute!

Kind of makes me think of PCVs at the end of a vacation. Exhausted, sleeping in a pile, and you still can't get everything to dry out properly.

But the adventure wasn't over yet, as our bus broke down on the way home. Because they forgot to fill the gas tank up all the way. 

.......

Another bus came but couldn't help. Our driver hitched to the nearest village 130km away and got a few liters of fuel and hitched back with it... 5 hours later.

Then we had to figure out how to get the fuel INTO the bus, and obviously there was no funnel. So they used a Fanta bottle.

At this point, we and several Batswana nominated Liz to be the driver if the first one didn't return, but he did. So we got to Gabs at like 12:45am instead of 7pm, but we made it and it was an awesome trip, break down not withstanding. :)