Emotions: This is really frustrating.
Brain: What is frustrating?
E: Trying to get ANYTHING done.
B: Well, you are still learning the system.
E: Their system sucks.
B: Come on, just cause it’s not how we do it in America
doesn’t mean it’s bad.
E: But I feel like less gets done in their system, and it
takes way longer.
B: Well no system is perfect. And this is a developing country. If they had all their crap together, Peace
Corps wouldn’t be here.
E: I guess. I just
feel like the things that are lacking prevent me from doing much.
B: Like what?
E: Well the ministry of Education (MOE) wants us to do
lifeskills. That’s kind of hard when
there aren’t enough teachers and the kids are hungry.
B: All school systems, probably in the entire world, need
more teachers. Ask your friends in the
states, I’m almost positive they’d say the same thing- lack of teachers and
lack of resources.
E: This is different.
This is entire classes being left with no teacher for multiple terms,
and then yelled at for failing their classes.
B: Ok. How can you
fix that?
E: Um, I can’t. Even
if I were to just randomly start teaching a few classes, which technically I’m
not supposed to do, there would still be lots of classes without teachers. And I don’t think the kids would understand
me anyway,
B: Ok. So you aren’t
going to be able to fix everything. You
aren’t superwoman. That’s probably the
first step to lessening your frustrations.
E: I’m not trying to be superwoman, I just want to actually
have something work!
B: What about your PACT clubs?
E: What about them?
It’s taken more than a month just to try and start them, and I still don’t
know if I have teachers on board.
B: Kids show up to the one at Lempu.
E: Yeah but the teachers don’t.
B: I didn’t say it’s perfect, but it’s something.
E: But the point of my being here is to build teacher
capacity. Running the club on my own won’t
do that.
B: You are here for many reasons, one of which is capacity
building. That’s not limited to
teachers; I’d say it also counts with students.
E: So I should just focus on the students and do everything
myself? That’s not sustainable.
B: I didn’t say stop trying with the teachers, I just said
don’t discount the impact you are having on the students, even if it doesn’t
seem like much. Building lifeskills in
students is really long-term sustainability.
E: Ok. I’d really
like to actually work with teachers though.
And that is my frustration with the lack of resources. They seem to actually want to help, but are
often too busy and overwhelmed.
B: Well, getting things off the ground often takes more work
than sustaining them. If you get the
clubs going, trying to draw them in as much as possible, they may feel less overwhelmed
at the idea of keeping them going with you.
E: Yeah, but they are still really busy.
B: Remember getting in arguments with you parents in high
school about homework and stuff? Was the
issue really being too busy, or priorities?
E: Usually priorities.
So I’m supposed to have them prioritize clubs over classes? That’s
whack.
B: No, I don’t think they have to make that decision. You just have to help them understand the
importance of the clubs, that even though there are no examinations involved,
that they still really help the students. If you can get the teachers to
prioritize some of these activities, they will make time for them. They’ll figure out how to work it in their
schedule.
E: That’s easier said than done.
B: That’s probably a good description of Peace Corps in a
nutshell. Besides, the hardest part is
done- they care. Making someone care is
infinitely harder than getting them to work on something they already care
about.
E: Yeah. What about
my hungry students?
B: Feed them?
E: With what? I can’t pull paleche out of thin air.
B: Doesn’t your school have a garden?
E: In theory.
B: I think your friend already pointed out, theoretical
tomatoes are much less useful than real ones.
E: :P
B: Look into the garden- if 200 students are planting vegetables,
that should help with the food problem.
Be creative.
E: Arg.
B: Now what?
E: It’s just… I worry that anything I do is going to turn
out wrong. I feel like there is a real
culture of dependence here, and I don’t know what to do with it.
B: There is a culture of dependence. It’s the result of centuries of colonialism and
lots of other things.
E: It’s annoying.
B: It’s worse than annoying, but do you really think your 2
years in your village will erase hundreds of years of dependent thinking?
E: Of course not.
B: Good, we’re back to figuring out what you can and can’t
change.
E: Jerk.
B: Dweeb.
E: My issue is not to fix it, my issue is to not contribute
to it!
B: How do you think you will be contributing to it?
E: Starting clubs, or anything by myself. Giving anything to
people, even my friends. Sharing ideas.
B: But even if that happens a little bit, think of the
programs you are providing them with.
Lifeskills. Some of the ideas in
which are critical thinking, taking control of your life, and making good
decisions.
E: Yeah, but I’ve already had people say things implying
they can’t do this type of thing on their own, and that’s not true. I’m not smarter than they are.
B: You aren’t smarter than them, but you are more empowered.
E: Stop throwing around development buzzwords, it’s
annoying.
B: But I think it’s true.
You believe you can do these things and that they can too. They don’t believe that yet. That’s where you can come in.
E: And how do I do that?
B: A lot of what you are already trying to do- Pushing people to work with you. Later on in
your service, having them run more and more stuff until you can step away.
E: -sigh-
B: It’s not something you can really put on your to-do list
for the day. That’s where the
relationship building comes in.
E: And that’s the hardest part.
B: Always. Try
inviting some teachers over for dinner on the weekend, or actually using your
soccer ball for once. Talk with people
instead of taking pictures of goats all the time :P
E: Fine, fine. I’ll
start when it’s not 500 degrees outside.
B: -facepalm-
Edit: I should give credit to my best friend Babs for supplying most of my brain's side of this conversation, via a conversation she and I had a few days ago. ^_^
